What is your killer question? That means what is the one thing that if you could answer truthfully would give you the answer to why you are not achieving what you want to, or feeling how you want to, or generally getting what you want out of life. Much of my work is with weight loss clients and I have found one question over the years to be super powerful. Like many good questions it has 2 parts: a) What would be the best thing about losing weight? b) What would be the worst thing about losing weight? Part a) is easy, and people always trot out loads of benefits like, “I won’t feel bad, I will have more energy, I can buy nice clothes, have great sex!” you get the idea. Part b) is a bit more revealing but often harder to identify. The initial response is usually “nothing – there is no down side”, but the reality is there has to be a reason why you are not doing what it takes to lose weight, otherwise you would be doing it. No exceptions. If you want to lose weight or be slimmer, or just healthier, but have failed in your attempts to change your lifestyle choices, the answer to this question will tell you why.
If you are struggling to find your answer, think of the things that you think you need to do in order to lose the weight, that maybe you don’t like the thought of doing, or perhaps think about giving up food or drinks that you enjoy.
This morning at the Champneys Easy Slim weight loss retreat, I asked just this question and initially got the predictable “There is no worst thing about losing weight it will be great!” but once we challenged this, the answers were “I might have saggy boobs”, “I will have to give up my Thursday night curry with the girls” , “I will not be able to have a social life”, “I will have to go to the gym which I hate!” and there were more along similar lines. If your desire to avoid these things is stronger than your desire to be slim, no surprises for guessing what happens.
The reality is that if you want to achieve something and you know basically how to achieve it (in this case eat less and move more), yet you are not doing it, then your unconscious is associating pain with the changes you think you want to make, and calculates it will be less painful to stay fat and avoid or not have to endure whatever your answer to part b) is. In other words if you want to avoid the pain of b) more than you want to be slim – it’s all over; it becomes another in a possibly growing list of failed attempts.
In sales, one of the best techniques is to identify objections before they are raised and overcome them. This is no different. You have to “sell yourself” the idea of making changes. It has to be worth the effort. Think carefully about any negative outcomes of losing weight, and then find a solution BEFORE you start to make changes; that way you can by-pass your own internal natural reactions that ultimately sabotage your efforts.
In the above examples, solutions might be along the lines of – get a decent bra and do plenty of toning exercises to strengthen the muscles that hold your boobs up. When you go for a curry choose tikka based dishes and no naan bread. Go out just as much as before but drink spritzers instead of full glasses of wine and make different food choices, it’s the company you should enjoy more than the calories. If you hate the gym either go with a mate and make it part of your social life, or find something else you don’t mind doing, walking, cycling or perhaps regular badminton sessions with a friend.
So here’s your challenge, think about exactly what you want to achieve, ask yourself “What’s the best thing about achieving this” and then “What’s the worst thing about achieving this” When you can embrace part a) and resolve or at least inhibit part b) success will come naturally, seemingly without will power.
If you would like to learn some practical techniques so that you can be more motivated to be healthy or to lose weight and learn how to use your mind to change your body, then come along to my 1 day Easy Slim seminar in September or October in Rugby or Birmingham , or come along to CHAMPNEYS where I am starting my brand new 2 night and 4 night Mind Body Weight Loss retreats, and I will personally guide you through the process of using your mind to change your body. Alternatively you can read Think More Eat Less and follow the process using the techniques in the book and the FREE audio hypnotic downloads
May you find everything you need within………. and never be without.