The capacity to experience what you desire, rests solely with you. It’s not anyone else’s fault if you haven’t got more of what you want in your life. We all experience ups and downs, and of course external factors do influence our internal environment, but we always have the ability to continue to grow and develop and move towards our goals.
One of the first things I do with new clients is to get them to be really clear about what they truly desire. After all, you can’t hit a target you are not aiming at. Here’s a quick exercise for you, in one column write a list of what you have in your life that you do not want. When you have finished this, write a list of what you do want.
| I do not want | I do want |
| To feel anxious | To feel calm and peaceful |
| To constantly think about food | To only think about food when preparing or eating it |
| To be disorganised | To be in control and be systemised |
| To be broke | To be financially secure |
How easy did you find it to do each list? Which one took the least time? Often, we focus primarily on what we don’t want. The problem with that is when you think about something, even if it’s something you don’t want, you are focusing on it, and therefore you will manifest it. If I say to you now, “don’t think about blue bananas, don’t imagine what a blue banana would look like, don’t imagine what a blue banana might taste like” what happens? You think about blue bananas! That’s because your brain cannot understand the word “don’t”. It’s as if it’s been deleted from the sentence, it has no meaning. If you say to yourself “don’t forget to buy milk on the way home” there’s a good chance you will forget to buy milk on the way home. However, if you say to yourself “buy milk when you are on the way home” you drastically increase your chances of getting the milk. And it’s all down to the way you speak to yourself.
So, if you desire to have more of something, or to do more of something, you need to focus on that specifically, and create a neurological pathway or map that takes you in that direction.
You will get whatever you think about. So, here’s a question for you… What do you think about the most? How much of it have you got in your life? If you are thinking about not failing at dieting, at not being afraid to speak out, then you are probably really good at failing at dieting or failing at speaking out.
If you haven’t got enough of what you desire, you must first create a crystal clear vision of you achieving it. That vision must elicit a positive emotion that changes how you feel on a visceral level. It’s actually really hard to do this being static, your body posture affects how you communicate your thoughts to your brain, and the best way to imagine how amazing you will feel when you get what you desire, is to stand up, look up, and imagine that you already have this in your life. Once your neurology accepts this vision, it will activate the pleasure centres in your brain to produce more dopamine, which is the main neurotransmitter associated with motivation, and you naturally start to make better choices.
Here’s a short video exercise for you that I did for a previous blog. Before you watch it you must:
- Be able to articulate exactly what you want. “I want to feel better” is far to generic. It must be very specific
- Acknowledge how it would feel to have this in your life now
Watch my video now. Imagine you have been transported in time, step out and see an avatar of you who has already attracted or changed, see what you see, hear what you hear, feel how you feel. What makes it so worthwhile? What are the real benefits of having more of this in my life?
If you read my newsletters or blogs regularly you know how powerful an effect visualisation has on your neurology. New pathways are created in your brain and brand new maps develop to bring this vision to life. However, doing it once is not enough. Your brain is making new maps all day everyday as we are constantly experiencing new things. However not all of these maps are worth keeping. At night when you sleep you have the equivalent of the neurological bin men come along and any maps that haven’t been flagged as “do not remove” are cleared away to make room for other new experiences the next day. The way you flag a new map as important, is to attach an emotion to it. The stronger the emotion the stronger the map becomes. It will be right at the top of your thinking and you will be on constant alert to look out for things to make this vision come true.
The take home message from this blog is only focus on what you want. If you find yourself slipping back to thinking about what you don’t want, STOP and change perspective. If the “block” or “problem” wasn’t there, what would you have? Because all the time you acknowledge the blocks are there, the less resourceful you become. The more you focus on what you desire and imagine the benefits of having it, the more resourceful you become. Your brain becomes really creative and will present you with ways of achieving what you had probably not thought of before.
When you take 100% responsibility for creating what you desire, the universe conspires to help you; you find that you start attracting new situations or running into new people who have valuable information that can help you. It’s as if all the planets begin to align to take you to where you are meant to be in this life’s experience.
Each time this happens, acknowledge it with gratitude; say “thank you” to your brain and to the universe for guiding you and bringing you more of what you want. This reinforces all the things you are already changing.
You can’t hit a target you are not aiming at, but you will hit any target you are aiming at even if it’s what you don’t want. So what is on your target at the moment? Make sure it’s what you want in your life, because that’s what you are going to get.