How would you like to find the magic formula that means you achieve everything you set your heart on? What would you achieve if you no longer self sabotaged your efforts and not only did “whatever it takes” but actually enjoyed the process? Most of us have something that we dream about achieving “if only” we could find the motivation or discipline, and for most of us it’s a goal that would potentially change our lives for the better: it might be a new job, a new relationship, weight loss or changing your body, and yet some part of you self sabotages your best efforts. Why?
When you begin to understand how your brain works, the answer becomes clear. Think about this scenario; when your alarm goes off in the morning do you put it on snooze and snuggle down for a few more moments of pleasure? or get out of bed as the thought of being late is just not an option and is associated with painful consequences? This is the basic concept of whether you are driven to achieve pleasure or to avoid pain. Consciously many people are driven to achieve pleasure, but unconsciously human instinct is to avoid pain. When we were hunter gatherers pain usually meant death, so avoiding it is a primal survival instinct. As all our default programmes are created and stored in our unconscious mind, this is where the real change needs to take place.
This is an important factor when creating goals and strategy. In simple terms if you decide you want a new job but really hate interviews, the thought of doing what it takes to achieve your goal is perceived as more painful so instead of putting yourself through the pain you settle for the job you don’t want. Likewise if you want to lose weight but the thought of going on a diet or going to the gym means doing things you don’t want, then you are likely to choose to stay overweight. In short the pain associated with change is stronger than the desire for the end result. This also explains why people stay in bad relationships so long, the thought of dating or the fear of being on your own is more painful than staying where you are.
So how can you get over this totally natural primal desire to not experience pain and still achieve your goal? the answer is to create a strategy that is as pain free as possible, and to begin to associate pain with NOT changing. This can be harder for some things such as changing your job where not going for an interview is not an option! but if you want to lose weight and you hate the thought of going to the gym, but you would like to spend more time with your mates, try booking a badminton court once a week and playing together, make exercise fun! When it comes to foods I have one rule that I give all my weight loss clients and that is “if you don’t like it – don’t eat it – no matter how healthy it is”. People get so many negative anchors from dieting because they eat things they don’t like and don’t eat the things they do like. No wonder they self sabotage! So how would it be if you could look at a bag of crisps or some other food that makes you fat but you eat anyway because you enjoy it, and genuinely not want it. No need for will power! Have you ever eaten or drank anything and afterwards been ill? When I was pregnant I once ate lemon chicken and was so sick afterwards that I can’t even bear the thought of ever eating lemon chicken again. I associate pain with something that used to mean pleasure. A very obese friend once asked me where she could buy some XXL lycra workout shorts, astonished I congratulated on her decision to be more active, “oh no” she said “I’m not going to exercise, but my legs are so fat that where they rub together I have so many scabs my thighs look like an infected bag of crisps”. Yuk. I told this story to a client who was getting through 6 packs of crisps per day, and then invited her to visualise eating “scabs” and imagine what her thighs would look and feel like covered in these disgusting scabs. Within 5 minutes the thought of eating crisps went from pleasure to pain. This is a simple technique that allows us to make changes naturally without feeling deprived. When you understand how thought patterns and behaviours are created it becomes easier to deconstruct and change them, without pain. You can read more about this, including Mable’s story, and learn how to do it yourself in Think More Eat Less
If you would like to join me in person to learn a range of practical techniques so that you can be more motivated to be healthy or to lose weight and learn how to use your mind to change your body, then come along to my 1 day Easy Slim seminar in September or October in Rugby or Birmingham , or come along to CHAMPNEYS where I am starting my brand new 2 night and 4 night Mind Body Weight Loss retreats, and I will personally guide you through the process of using your mind to change your body. Alternatively you can read Think More Eat Less and follow the process using the techniques in the book and the FREE audio hypnotic downloads
May you find everything you need within………. and never be without.
Janet Thomson