This week I watched Francesca Martinez on the Jonathan Ross show and she said something that struck me as one of the most honest things I have ever heard. She is a hugely successful comedienne who has the physical challenge of coping with cerebral palsy. As she speaks there is not a moments pity for her, she just makes you laugh with her honesty. She is quite simply – funny. She describes her condition as being “wobbly” because “its easier to say” and as she wobbles when she speaks it somehow seems to perfectly compliment whatever she is chatting about. She is a wonderful example of self acceptance whatever your situation. She doesn’t feel sorry for herself, so why should we feel sorry for her? I imagine that’s the very last thing she wants or needs. In last weeks “The Voice” we saw Nick Tatham a hugely talented singer with Tourette’s, who said that he would not give up his condition as it had taught him so much and it was a part of who he is.
This internal self talk and self image in both cases drives them both to follow their dream. They are both hugely talented and had their self image been less than it is, they would not be sharing their talents with us. So many people underestimate the power of self talk on self image. I never tire of reminding my clients “be careful what you say you are listening!” Your internal dialogue and what you say to yourself about yourself, is the most influential thing you ever hear.
Seemingly harmless comments like “you’ll never be able to do that” or “you look awful in that” can have a dramatic effect in the subconscious choices you make. How easy it is to say these things when there’s no one to contradict you. The thing that Francesca said that really moved me? she said “the 3 hardest words I ever said were “I like myself”.
Internal dialogue and self talk will determine whether or not you achieve your goals. I work with a lot of clients who want to lose weight. If they come to me simply expecting a “diet” they get a bit of a shock. When you want to lose weight the first thing you have to do is to decide that you are worth the effort; to do this you have to like yourself as a person. Self esteem and self worth is a vital part of any weight loss programme, without it people simply give up on themselves, not just physically, but often emotionally aswell. Our role models should not be celebrities who we don’t even know, or models with unhealthy figures, but real people who have learned what to do to get what they want. And who like themselves. Nice one Francesca :o)