I can remember as a child when I first became aware of the voice inside my head. I had never been told about it and for a while I was genuinely frightened, I thought I was going mad. I thought there were two of me and they were constantly arguing with each other about what to do; I was afraid to go to sleep at night in case this ‘person’ inside my head did something bad. Eventually after a particularly bad nightmare I told my mum and the sense of relief I felt when she told me “we all have a voice that chatters away constantly, it’s nothing to worry about” was immense. I literally cried. I determined that when I had children I would tell them that when they heard a voice giving them a running commentary that it was nothing to worry about.
As a coach, I always tell clients whether it’s in a workshop or one to one session, that changing how you speak to yourself is a game changer. Your internal voice is not you, it’s your internal mechanism for making sense of the world outside of you.
Your internal voice is not you – ‘you’ are the one listening to it
If you have followed my programmes been to any of my workshops, you will know that one of my key teachings is realising that ‘you’ are not simply a human physical body, ‘you’ are the part that’s not physical; you might call this spirit, soul, life force, or anything else that represents the energy of life itself. Your spirit lives inside a human frame. The two are interconnected of course, but your body is not you, it’s where you live.
Your internal voice is the narrator of your life’s experience. We use this narration to make sense of the world around us, if you go out and it’s raining your internal voice says, “you are going to get wet, go back inside and get a coat or an umbrella” and in this way it’s useful. But sometimes it gives both options “it looks like rain you better take your coat” and then you contradict yourself with the same voice “actually no I think I will be back before it rains and that coat is so heavy I will end up carrying it”, this exchange of options are both coming from the same mechanism i.e. your internal voice. But you are not the voice – you can’t be if you are the one listening to it!
You are not the voice, you are the one listening to it: it’s how you react to what it says that will determine your soul’s life experience. You always have the power to respond or not respond to the voice.
In a previous blog I talked about the 5 second rule. When your voice presents an option, if you don’t respond to that option or impulse within 5 seconds, you are not likely to. You are actually already an expert at ignoring it, often when it’s saying something that might be helpful! So the choice is not what it says, but whether or not you respond to what it says.
Visualisation – count to 10, miss out number 7, in a silly voice. Tell yourself to run around naked. Did you respond to that? No! so when it says have cake you can ‘not’ respond to that either.
Sometimes our internal voice is a mechanism for releasing energy, much like a kettle has to let of steam when it boils. This can be in either a positive or negative way: imagine you are going to a meeting personally or professionally, where you are going to confront someone with some bad behaviour that was unacceptable. How many times before you meet them does your internal voice present various options of what to say? I’ll bet you have the argument/discussion several times in your head before you actually physically say the words. This is your internal voice a) presenting options and b) letting go of the energy that’s building up. One of the most frustrating things I deal with from clients is the anger they feel at not being listened to or their opinion being ignored. When that happens, your internal voice goes over and over what you ‘should/could’ have said. This lets off some steam but can also generate more!
I love to read and one of my favourite books is ‘The Untethered Soul’ by Michael Singer, and in the first chapter he explains how we are the one listening to the voice, and that the real ‘you’ is completely silent. I often play this chapter from the audio book on my workshops as he explains it so elegantly.
Although you are not the voice, you are in control of it. You can make it count to 10 and miss out the number 7, and then do it in a cartoon voice. You can make it say anything at all – even gobbledygook, but whatever it’s saying, you are listening.
It’s not the words that change minds, it’s how you respond to them. Be careful what you say – YOU are always listening. We have the ability to tune out some people we find boring or whose opinion we are not interested in, whilst appearing to listen. We also have the ability to tune out and not listen or respond to our internal voice which can be an incessant chatter.
One way to do this is to give yourself something else to listen to, such as a beautiful piece of instrumental music, or to watch something beautiful; to allow your eyes to be your primary communicators of that moments’ experience and not your voice. This is a key element in meditation, achieving the wonderful state of mind quiet.
Focusing on your breathing is another way to quiet the mind, just slowing your breathing and noticing how it really feels to breathe. Notice every millimetre the lungs and ribs expand, notice the temperature of the air that you breathe in, compared to the air you breathe out, and notice how it feels when your ribs glide effortlessly down as you exhale.
When you practice ways to quiet the voice, life itself becomes more peaceful. Try some of the technique mentioned and see which works best for you, and watch my video below.
Come and see me live, let’s work together:
Friday – Sunday 3rd – 5th NOVEMBER– REBOOT & RESET RETREAT – purely for those of you who have worked with me previously either on a retreat or a workshop.. DETAILS HERE>>
PLACEBO DIET is coming up in Champneys Henlow 12th NOVEMBER – a 2-night retreat where I will personally guide you through my step by step process that will teach you how all your existing behaviours were created, and how to change your mind so that you naturally want to eat less, eat and enjoy different foods, and banish cravings. BOOK YOUR PLACE HERE>>
STARTS 20th NOVEMBER – COME ALIVE NOW ‘AT HOME’ RETREAT – join myself and Lindsey for an inspirational interactive 2 WEEK experience and revitalise your mind and body, live from your home. – DETAILS HERE>>